Over the years I have learned, discovered, that everything is always internal.
I am always the issue. Trying to control external events, people, or situations is futile, frustrating, exasperating, and disappointing.
That is not a picture of peace and serenity. A lovely quote I got from someone somewhere is scribbled on my corkboard: “Strive for control over your experience of the events/people of your life – not control over the events/people themselves.”
A Course in Miracles (ACIM) states [T-8.III.4 (emphasis mine)]: “When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself. Whenever two Sons of God meet, they are given another chance at salvation. Do not leave anyone without giving salvation to him [through forgiveness – remembering you and him are one] and receiving it yourself. For I am always there with you, in remembrance of you.”