2nd Edition, Revised Material

Control Versus Acceptance, Care, Love

“Humankind’s desire to stay in control killed Jesus, but the love of God won.”
~ Donald L. O’Dell

Personal transformation is real. In recognition of feeling acceptance or love, there is a degree of transformation that occurs, which evolves or consolidates depending on the path we choose day to day - the present moment of NOW.

Acceptance/love is the other side of the coin where control exists. We must first accept ourselves and then, to the degree we can accept ourselves, we can accept other people - as they are. This is something I have learned in my AA experiences and studying A Course In Miracles. I generally find the word “acceptance” more meaningful than the word “love.”


A. People who are controlling often have an unbalanced power dynamic in their relationships and can struggle to trust the other person.

B. People who are loving recognize that everyone is different and they don’t need to control them in order to feel secure.

C. People who are loving are also supportive and understanding. They will listen and offer advice if asked, but they won’t try to control another’s decision.

D. People who are controlling will often try to dictate how someone should act, feel, and think. Controlling people often want to limit the other person’s freedom and independence.

To take acceptance to the next level I present this from ACIM:

“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. 2 As you see him you will see yourself. 3 As you treat him you will treat yourself. 4 As you think of him you will think of yourself. 5 Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself. …. 8 For I am always there with you, in remembrance of you.”

The holidays are upon us, an excellent time to consider how we are thankful.

What I am thankful for is knowing that His spirit of love remains alive in my heart and the hearts of many people around this world evidenced by by those who can simply accept one another.

Donald L. O'Dell
November 16, 2023

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