I Always Grow Through Pain

From that book:

“The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step – ‘every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us ' also tells me that there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I will always have the prerogative and the responsibility of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of my own reality.

“When I take my daily inventory, I know that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I am only judging myself. Whatever is upsetting me most is my best teacher. I have much to learn from those I judge, and, in my heart, I should thank that person.”

The Tenth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous states: “[We] Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”

Hmmm – Continued to take personal inventory. Hmmm – continued to look within to “fix” whatever is wrong. Notice that the emphasis is NOT on trying to “fix” what’s “out there.” It is always an inside job.

AA has taught me that I always grow through pain. The exception, of course, is when I spend all my mental energy not growing, but blaming and judging everything and everyone “out there” for my discomfort. When I do that, I also spend a tremendous amount of mental and emotional energy plotting, planning, fantasizing, and mentally meting out the just rewards of my revenge.

I try always to remember the little “as” in the Lord’s Prayer: …Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against us…. If you believe the typical images of many Christians’ idea of Judgment Day, you better believe I don’t want God to forgive me the way I forgive.

The easiest way for me to forgive is to never have blamed in the first place. For me to not blame is to focus on what was going on inside me. Why did I choose to react rather than respond? My anger, fear, dislike, disappointment is not with the person or event that triggered it. A Course in Miracles teaches me I am never truly upset for the reason I think. So, if it wasn’t the person or event, what was it? That’s when I confide in another alcoholic. That’s what I try to focus on. That’s where the pain lies. That’s where my growth occurs.

Although these messages are mostly for me, thanks for listening. As always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey.

Blessings, Don
2014